


fools

by crxssfire



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M, The Librarians - Freeform, emotions or just the gay showing?? the world may never know, gay love is the best love, jazekiel - Freeform, worried!jake
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2018-09-13 17:22:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9133882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crxssfire/pseuds/crxssfire
Summary: a battle with sirens untethers ezekiel jones' long held truth... or, truths.





	1. Chapter 1

"There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true. The other is to refuse to accept what is true." -Søren Kierkegaard

:;:

Loop one. He didn't know what was in store for him. No one knew. 

Loop seven. He was beginning to doubt himself. But, of course, he put on his impenitrable shield around his heart again. He's okay, to a certain degree. 

Loop fifteen. The rage people have begun tearing into the Librarians, and their Guardian. She can't save them from what's coming. 

Loop twenty three. He's frustrated. He is so frustrated. He feels so powerless; not being able to save his only friends. Without them... he doesn't know where he would be. 

Loop fifty nine. His hand is burning again. With enough pain to even outshine the pain in his heart. 

Loop ninety. He's crying now. The others don't know what's going on. Cassandra comes over and tries to calm him down. He pushes her away. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." he mutters, over and over again. 

Loop one hundred sixteen. The rage people had tore into the group. He was holding the bleeding and dying Jacob Stone in his arms. Even if he had seen this dozens of times... he didn't know why he couldn't stop crying. Pleading for him to live. Jake was crying to. For himself, and for the boy in front of him. He kissed the thief softly, chapped lips pressing against softened ones. Afterwards, he opened his mouth, but no words came out. The Australian boy is shocked when he dies slowly in his arms.

Loop two hundred forty nine. He is numb. He doesn't even feel anything when he shoots Stone in the leg, and then heals him to prove a point. But he can't resist the childlike excitement in his eyes when he realizes we're in a video game. Still, he never cracks a smile. 

Loop four hundred two. Stone kisses him again. This time, more passionate than the last. The game restarted before they even broke away.

Loop five hundred sixty one. He can't take it anymore. He takes Colonal Baird's gun and shoots himself in hopes that it would end all this. It doesn't. 

Loop six hundred twenty eight. He can't see his group without their faces being covered in blood. When they talk, all he hears is them screaming out in pain. 

Loop eight hundred fourteen. This time, he kisses Stone with all of the energy he has left. Their lips were barely touching before Stone really connected them. 

Loop nine hundred ninety nine. He cheats to try and save his friends. He unknowingly crashed the game. 

Loop one thousand. His friends don't trust him, because he's... him. He is hurt, because he trusts them. He'd trust them with his life, but they cannot believe a word he says.  
He gives his life for them. He jumps off the edge, into the void, and just keeps falling. He can't stop falling. But one thing is prominent: he saved them. He saved them all.  
His friends save him, just like he saved them. "You're back," Stone says, "you're alive." That could barely describe the joy he was feeling. He could have another chance to confess.  
He pretends he doesn't remember, but he remembers everything in excruciating detail. He remembers the warm feeling of blood coating his hands, or the feeling when you can't save someone. 

He remembers it all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello dear readers! sorry for the overdue chapter! i know. I'm the worst. sue me.
> 
> shoutout to @SnorkleShit for helping me out with this chapter! no but seriously without her i probably wouldn't have published this chapter until 2018. she's literally a lifesaver.
> 
> enjoy~

When Stone accused me of loving Cyndi, I wanted to refuse his attempt to be right when he was really so, so wrong. Every fibre of my being wanted to jump on the table and scream, 'no, you're wrong! I don't love her, I love you!' But I didn't. I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to do it, even if it's of the utmost importance to finally get it off of my chest. 

After that incident, I tried to tell him that I was, in fact, not in love with her, but he wouldn't believe me. I have truly never met someone with a thicker skull than Jacob Stone. 

I decided to go to the Annex early today. My apartment was becoming a bore. At least they have a better coffee brewer than mine. Jenkins welcomed me in the door.

"Mr Jones! You're here early," he said while rushing around the Annex, organizing books and whatnot. I sat at the center table, kicking my feet up and leaning back in the chair. "What can I say? I guess no one can keep up with my mad skills," I replied in my usual manner. I heard footsteps echoing the hallway and a familiar husky voice saying, "No one except me." Stone grinned at me cheekily. He waved to me with a book in hand. I looked at him endearingly, with a slight hint of bitterness.

"Okay, just because you're a huge nerd and want to see literally all of the historical pieces in here does not mean that you need to get here at, like, six in the morning," I remarked. He glanced down at his watch once more. 

"Um, seven in the morning. Not six." 

"Whatever." I leapt out of my chair and made my way to the Library kitchen in search of the coffee brewer. It was in a different place this morning, just like every morning. Today, it was kept away neatly in the corner, probably the most normal place it's ever been. I decided not to question it. I reached for a mug in the cabinet, having to stand on my toes to get it. Damn my shortness. I swayed my hand around the shelf, but I felt no mugs. I stood back until I could see the shelf. It was empty. I still stood, feeling incredibly vexed. I hastily closed the cabinet and headed out into the main Annex. 

"Hey, has anyone seen the..." I stopped mid sentence at the sight of Cassandra, standing around the table with all of the coffee cups crowding the surface. "What the actual hell are you doing?" I questioned assertively. She filled a mug with a strange green substance. 

"Oh, Ezekiel! Hi! Just comparing the density of magical objects," she said, as if it was just another days work. She put a creamy coloured pearl into the mug she was working on, and moved to the next one. She poured another liquid into that one, but this time, it was purple. 

"That was my favorite..." I muttered sadly, taking one of the unused mugs off the table and started to make my way back to the kitchen. 

"You might not want to drink out of the ones I'm using!" She called after me. I acknowledged her with a quick thumbs up.

When I returned to the bright visage of the Library kitchen, something seemed... out of place. Missing. 

The coffee machine. 

I decided to give up on coffee for this morning. I joined Cassandra at the center table, where Jake had joined her in the short time I was gone. He was looking around the table, and all the mugs. He looked at my favorite and the purple liquid inside of it. Stone frowned. "Oh, Ezekiel liked that mug," he muttered. As soon as I entered, the Clippings Book rattled ferociously. I rushed over to it and held it down to coax its shaking. Like it was... scared. I actually felt kinda insane for it, because I was feeling bad for a book. Man, I need to get more of a social life. When it stopped, I looked on the page and saw a news clipping. I read it out loud. 

"Keith McClain. He worked in a coffee shop in San Francisco, went out one day, didn't show up for work the next. Reported missing yesterday," I paraphrased, glancing up at the Librarians every now and then. They looked at each other with worry in their eyes. "We should call Colonal Baird," Cassandra said. 

"Yeah, we should," I agreed, already taking out my cell phone and dialing Eve's number. 

"Ezekiel Jones, what the hell could you be calling me for at seven in the morning?" Was her opening sentence. 

"Is that your way of saying you miss me?" I questioned, with a smirk painted on my face. She sighed. 

"What do you want, Jones? I'm kind of busy sleeping. Oh, Flynn says hi." I wiggled my eyebrows, taking advantage of the fact that she can't see me. 

"I don't need to know about your sex life, Colonal Baird." I practically heard her rolling her eyes. 

"Jones! What. Do. You. Need." 

"There's a case in San Francisco. I'll fire up the back door for you," I said. She started to reply, but I hung up before she could finish. I laid my phone on the table, harder than I intended. It made a horrid sound. I winced as I walked to the back door. Punching in Colonal Baird's address, the door lit up a blindingly bright pale blue as she tumbled into the Library. Eve tumbled in, with Flynn behind her. 

"Hi," she said, steadying herself and calmly strutting in and planting herself in front of the Clippings Book, her eyes scanning along the page. "Keith McClain," Flynn read off the news clipping beside Eve. I nodded slightly. He looked at all of us for a moment, then back at the paper. 

"Says he was last seen in an alley on 11th Street." We all glanced at each other. Jake popped up out of his seat and paced to the back door. "Well, what are we waiting for?" He questioned. Cassandra shrugged and joined him, as did I. 

We all vanished into the heavenly blue light.

 

The clattering of dishes was the first thing that I heard when we all stumbled out of a diner bathroom. The room was filled with the crackly sound of vinyl, a man and a woman singing a duet. Behind that, people were chattering amongst each other, so enveloped in each others' company that no one noticed us walking through the diner. Even when we walked out of the door, a bell chimed. It reminded me of the 1980's. Easily my favorite decade. Gotta admit, I'm a sucker for the classics. 

"Alright, an alley on 11th Street. This will be a treat," I said, gesturing to the seemingly endless street. Eve scoffed. 

"Ezekiel, Cassandra, you scout out the south side. Me, Flynn, and Stone will do the north," She said. Cassandra replaced Stone by my side. We started to walk away when I felt a hand on my bicep. I spun around. Stone. 

"Be careful," he said, voice deep yet somehow managing to make it... warm. 

"You too," I replied. We held a gaze for a few seconds, before I broke away, looking at my feet. But I cherished them. They were beautiful. I stood for a while, watching Stone walk away from me until I heard a voice. 

"Ezekiel," Cassandra said quietly. I glanced back at her, just momentarily. She gently tugged my arm, trying to signal me to walk with her. Yet, I couldn't, because I never thought one of the sweetest things someone's ever done for me would come from Jacob Stone, the man who I have a stupid feud with. I hesitated before following Cassandra. I think she felt that. 

 

The usually bubbly and happy-go-lucky Cassie was quiet and reserved as she shone her flashlight around the dimly lit alley. The air between us was thick and riddled with unresolved tension. 

"Are you okay?" I asked, letting emotion slip into the flow of my voice. She glanced back at me, then at her flashlight, then back at me again. 

"Well, I am. Kind of. Are you?" She asked. 

"Why are you flipping the question on me?" 

"Because I worry about you." My head snapped up. She stopped walking, and turned off her flashlight. 

"Why would you worry about me?" I questioned. 

"Ever since the video game, you've been acting strange. Different. It's like every time you look at any of us, you just look... scared." She hesitated. "Do you remember it?" I resisted my eyes from going wide at her, frankly right, accusation. 

"Remember what?" She raised her eyebrows and hushed her voice. 

"The video game." I looked down at my shoes. She stared at the top of my head intently, her way of trying to crack me. 

"...yes," I said quietly, almost inaudibly. Maybe I didn't want for her to hear it. I slid down the brick wall behind me, my clothes coinciding with the wall and making a horrible sound. Cassandra did down next to me. 

"God, I'm so sorry, Ezekiel." And there it was. The mantra I've been hearing all my life. I clenched my fists, trying to contain my frustration. "Yeah, everyone's sorry," I muttered. Cassandra didn't hear me. She suddenly stood up and looked at the bricks behind us. 

"Woah. Look at this," she said. I jumped to my feet. There was a wall of graffiti. The colors were spectacular, and vibrant. "Street art isn't usually like that," I said. Cassandra nodded slightly, running her hand along the pictures. 

"Call Jake," she said. I passively obeyed her orders, reaching for my phone in my back pocket, dialing Stone's number. 

"You find anything?" He asked as he picked up. I scoffed. 

"No, I just called you to say hi. And if by 'anything' you mean strangely vivid and possibly magical graffiti on the side of a wall, then yeah, I guess we did find something." 

"Where are you?" 

"Across from Starbucks. Be here in ten minutes." 

"Bet I could do five."

"Make me proud, Cowboy." I could practically hear his smirk though the phone. The line went dead. I lowered the phone from my ear and slid it into my pocket. I glanced up at Cassandra, who was staring at me, for some reason. I raised an eyebrow. 

"What? Is there something on my face?" I asked. She shook her head hesitantly. 

"N-no, no... look, Ezekiel, I need to go take care of something. Just stay here, wait for Jacob." She ran, and I mean literally ran, out of the alley. I wondered what could make her leave in such a rush. Maybe it was me. She couldn't deal with the math. Traumatizing experience + knowledge of that trauma = her being obliged to... help me. Somehow. I don't know. 

My thoughts were scattered like burglars from a burglar alarm when I heard something, a voice, in the alley. Everything else seemed to go quiet except the voice. It was singing. 

"Stone, if this is you trying to mess with me, I am totally going to kill you," I said, shining my flashlight around the alley. The voice only got louder, etching its own pathway into my mind. It suddenly stopped. 

"Ezekiel Jones," it said. He. It was a man. The voice was deep and seductive, with a southern lilt to it. 

"Who are you?" I asked, my voice faltering. He chuckled. 

"That is the question, isn't it? Who am I, who are any of us. But who are you, Ezekiel?" Poetic. Damn. I'm a sucker for poetry. 

"Show yourself, and I might tell you," I commanded. He gave a satisfied 'hmf' sound. 

"Okay," he said simply. A silhouette emerged from the darkness at the end of the alley. The ominous dim lighting wasn't doing any favors either. Though I could make out his soft brown hair, the kind I would love to just run my hands through. I took a step closer, still skeptic but able to control myself to a certain degree. There's just something that draws me to him.

"Who are you?" I asked again. He smirked.

"Come with me and I'll tell you," he offered. I wanted to refuse, but I couldn't. Eventually, unable to keep my temptation at bay, I succumbed to him. He took my hand in his, and lead me away. 

 

"Four minutes! Ezekiel, you have been out-Stoned." The remark was left unanswered. "Ezekiel?" Silence. "Ezekiel!" The man started frantically walking around the alley, his flashlight going in every crevice and crack there could be. 

"Oh, Jake! You're here. Where's Ezekiel?" A bubbly voice asked. Her fiery red hair bounced as she walked towards the panicked Jacob Stone. He turned to her slowly.

"He's gone."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! i know. please yell at me. IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE I UPDATED OH GOD   
> *screams of frustration in the distance*   
> sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorryso
> 
> yeah you get it.   
> thanks again to @SnorkleShit for helping me with this chapter (again. seriously though she is like writing the book for me) she's a literal genius. pls check out her stories, i promise they will be better than mine :)) 
> 
> anyways, enjoy bc i busted my ASS to get this so you are welcome

jacob stone - art historian in hiding

 

It all happened in flashes. Bits and pieces. 

Cassandra being rushed away in Jenkins' arms, her regularly fiery red hair (usually used in comparison to her personality) being dulled by every second passing. It was the first time in long that I was certain that she was going to die. 

Next thing I remember is the hospital lobby. The lights, the ever growing tear in my heart, the overwhelming smell of medicine and death. Not many good memories come from hospitals. The chairs in the waiting room were uncomfortable and at times made my legs ache. 

Eve and Flynn came dashing in a second later. You see, I had never seen Baird cry until that moment, so when she started sobbing, I don't know if I was surprised that she leant on Flynn. She was looking for that happiness and serenity she found in him, at the time she needed it most. 

Their devastated faces were burned into my mind. Eve's tear stained cheeks, Flynn's solemn look as he held Baird, Jenkins' head buried in his hands. But Ezekiel... his is in the forefront of my brain. Just seeing him attempt to hold back his sorrow. He didn't want to have a mental breakdown in front of us. And, as I realized in that moment, was partly because we had conditioned him to thinking that was not Ezekiel Jones. We were dealing with two things here: Cassandra's expected tumour and Ezekiel's unexpected heartbreak. 

I heard a muffled sob from beside me. He was crying. Him and Cassandra were best friends. Seeing her gone would break him. 

I hesitated before grabbing his hand, and gently squeezing it. He glanced up at me, tears falling down his face, and gave me a small smile. No sarcastic remarks, no 'who knew you liked guys!', just a look of pure appreciation. I'd feel bad if I say I was surprised. 

He didn't even let go of my hand. For an hour, maybe two, we just sat there. Not saying a word. My hand started to get clammy and hot but I didn't care. I can only guess he didn't either because he never flinched. 

I had made the realization that there was more behind what Ezekiel Jones chose to share.

 

We had to wait a day before we could see Cassandra again. An entire agonizing, heart wrenching day of hearing the cries of my closest and only friends, and having to deal with my own sadness without inflicting it on others. I didn't sleep. None of us did.

When the doctor came out of the operating room with an indecipherable look, I didn't know what to think. I can speak nine languages and read twelve more, but I couldn't translate this. 

He explained the gist of her procedure, and hearing nothing optimistic made my heart drop. Then, like Gabriel's Horn playing a sweet melody from the heavens (which would be impossible, by the way, because Gabriel's Horn is in the Library), the doctor said that she was okay. The operation was a massive success. A smile emerged on my face for the first time in what felt like decades. I glanced at Ezekiel. His eyes lit up with joy when he rushed in to go see her. I followed close behind him. 

She was wearing a cloth to cover her hair, which also covered the view of the stitches, which I appreciated very much. She smiled weakly at us. At that moment, I had a newfound appreciation for life. Just seeing her there, fragile, but healthy. She was happy because she didn't have this ticking time bomb locked away in her head. Her destiny was not pre-determined to her anymore. 

Personally, I don't believe in fate, but if I heard mine long ago, I wouldn't have believed it. I mean, seriously. Jacob Stone, working in a magical library fighting off things and "saving the world, twice before Friday." Trust me, if the Library hadn't shown up, I would still be writing history papers under aliases and working on my fathers' (failing) oil rig. My knowledge of my fate was to live a long life and die. Simple as that. But the Library (and the Librarians) turned that upside down, for the better. 

My point is, no matter how much you think you know about what your life will be, someone will smack you in the face with reality and you'll be left laying on the ground, dazed and confused. For me, that was the Library. The Librarians. I'm sure you see why; I know I do.

 

 

My head pounding with fear was too familiar a feeling, so when I felt it in that alley, I had a sudden blast of nostalgia blast into me like a bomb. I feel it rising up in my throat, making it hard to breathe as I screamed Ezekiel's name, only barely coming out as a whisper. A frustrated choked sound, at best. It echoed throughout the walls of the alley. The sounds of feet pitter-pattering their way to me grew closer. I spun around, and was greeted by Cassandra with a vexed look on her face. Her fiery red hair bounced up and down on her shoulders. 

"Jake, where's Ezekiel?" She asked curiously. I inhaled sharply and shrugged my shoulders quickly. "I don't... I don't know," I stuttered. Her eyes started to grow wide with concern. "You mean he's not with you?" She questioned worriedly. I shook my head. 

"No. He's gone. I-I don't know where he went." Cassandra's began to get frantic.

"W-what? How? He's the greatest thief in the world, he wouldn't have just... vanished! Where did he go?"

"I don't know! Maybe he just went to get some coffee or something, I don't know! Call him, please." I leaned against the wall behind me, burying my head in my hands. I heard her dialing Ezekiel's number. A ringing noise and a horrible vibrating on the concrete came from beside me, startling me as I looked down. It was Ezekiel's phone. I slowly picked it up from off the ground, it still shaking in my hand. I showed it to Cassandra. Her face was shadowed with extreme worry. 

"Oh, no..." she said. I nodded in mutual concern.

"Please, um, call Baird and Flynn, get Jenkins to fire up the back door. Please," I asked. She nodded shakily, her hands shuddering as she dialed each of their contacts. I zoned out while she was talking. I only heard tidbits of the conversations, though I know for a fact she started to cry during one of them. I think it was with Eve... her and Eve have always been close.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the formally grey and rusted side door glow a blindingly bright blue. I leapt up without hesitation, the pale light being a familiarity, where this place had none. I was about to engulf myself in this heavenly light before I saw something out of the corner of my eye; it was the graffiti Ezekiel was talking about before he was... indesposed of. Not knowing whether to stay or go, I quickly took a picture of it with my phone, and walked to the light, Cassandra hurriedly ushering me in. She followed close behind me into the Annex. 

We both stumbled in, but getting ourselves stable in a surprising amount of time to walk to the center table, laying out everything we had, which wasn't much. Ezekiel's phone, and mine alongside it, with the screen open to the graffiti. I was too wrecked with worry to properly analyze it. Maybe it meant nothing, but he seemed pretty persistent on the phone about it. He would never usually be that vigorous about something like that. 

Another thing: I found it pretty (.) odd (.) that he called. He never calls! He doesn't go with that whole "old bloke hippie crap". Was there magic involved that only he could see? Was he being affected by a spell, or a magical entity? 

I took a closer look at the art. My eyes scanned over it. Except for the chilling realism, and how out of place it was, I didn't notice anything different about it. 

I was about to leave before I spotted something out of the corner of my eye in the picture. There was a person. In the water. It took me a while to realize, but when I did, I didn't want to believe it. Then I concluded, we needed to act fast, or Ezekiel was going to die. 

I am freely willing to admit that this is the most terrified I have been in my life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jesus christ on a boat. it's been like ten years since i've updated???? jfc sorry. truth is, writers block has been hitting me pretty hard these past few weeks. i feel like this chapter isn't as good as it should be. i'm still relieved i got it done, though. 
> 
> all of this positive feedback is so sweet of you guys! i'm getting so much appreciation. thank you for your support, it's greatly appreciated. 
> 
> and holy crap look at those hits????! i am.... wow. yeah that's pretty much all i can fathom. thanks for that too. 
> 
> anyways, thanks again to @SnorkleShit for always being there for me when i need help. i wasn't kidding when i said it the last time, she's helped me write this book a lot! and she's an amazing jazekiel writer herself so a little bit of recognition for her would be great, she deserves it. 
> 
> enjoy the chapter!

As I stepped through the Library door, I felt myself begin to lose my balance. The room was spinning. Ezekiel... "Oh, no no no no..." I said, falling back into a rolling chair Jenkins had recently acquired for the Library. Normally I would respect the Victorian London charm of it, but at that moment, as the truth dawned on me, none of my thoughts were particularly organized. All just scrambling around like fish out of water. 

"Jake? Jake, what's wrong?" Cassandra asked, rushing to me. I buried my face in my hands. She gripped my chair tightly.

"It's a siren," I stated. I looked into her blue eyes. They were usually alive and bright, but now they were dark and stormy. I hated to see them like that. Her worryingly white knuckles faded back into a normal flesh colour. 

"Well... well, there's gotta be another way. Right?" She said desperately. "...Right?" I inhaled sharply, and gave her an uneasy look. Her shoulders deflated. 

A sound came from beside us. Flynn, Eve, and Jenkins came out the Back Door. 

"We have any leads?" Flynn asked calmly. Cassandra released her grip from the chair and rushed over to the center table, scrambling over the evidence I piled up. "Well, um, we have this but it isn't much," she said, gesturing to the table. She paused. "Jake said it's a siren." Flynn and Jenkins were the only ones to understand that. 

"What on earth is a siren?" Eve asked, still planted at the place she came out. 

"A siren was in Greek and Roman mythology, commonly known to use their voices to lure people to their death. I don't understand why a siren would attack Ezekiel on land though, they're only known to do it in the sea," Flynn explained. Eve nodded ruefully. 

"So if it was a siren, what happened to Ezekiel?" We all stayed silent. We didn't know what to say. Ezekiel is probably dead, whether we choose to accept it or not. They probably won't. 

Cassandra's high pitched gasp interrupted my thoughts. My head swiveled her direction. "Wait! Wait, wait, wait... there might be a way that I can reach him. See where he is," she said suddenly. Our eyes grew as large as saucepans, and I'm sure we looked ridiculous. Whatever. 

"What? How?" Flynn asked, bewildered. Cassie grabbed me by the bicep and dragged me to the back door, it being already set for where she wanted to go, all she did was push open the door. A sudden wave of realization crashed into me. 

"Wait, wait, you're gonna use your telekinetic mind hoodoo?" She smiled. "Yep!" She replied cheerily. And just like that, she pulled me into the door, even though I didn't know where she would be pulling me out. 

 

 

We arrived at somewhere bright and lively. Colours were splattered along the walls, reminding me of that time I went to New York City with my friends. I remember it... I snuck out my window that night. My father never noticed I was gone that week. 

There were nice bookcases, pretty cabinets, hell, even the curtains were decked out to the absolute maximum, and it still managed to pull it off. It smelled like lavender and febreeze. It was fitting.

"Kudos to the interior designer," I said to no one in particular. Cassandra glanced my way. "Thank you." Oh. This is her house. She lead me into her living room, sitting me on the couch. She did also. 

"This helps," she muttered at particularly no one. 

"Care to tell me what we're doing?" I asked. 

"Finding Ezekiel," she responded vaguely. I suppressed a sigh. 

"No, what I want to know if exactly how to find him. None of this makes sense, Cass!" I said rather loudly. 

"I'm going to use my power to lock into his position." 

"We said no magic." 

"In case of extreme emergencies, Jake! Doesn't this seem like an emergency to you?" She nearly screamed. I nodded, slightly hurt. Her shoulders tensed and she leant back against the sofa. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that," she apologized. I smiled warmly. 

"No no, I should be the one apologizin'. You're right," I said softly. The corner of her lips turned upwards. "If you were gonna to do this, why not do it in the Library? Why here?" I asked. A solemn look washed over her face. 

"Y'know, I was born a twin. He was a boy. Caleb. He had a seizure when he was seven. No one was home, and... we got back a while later, but by then, he was gone. There was no hope by that point," she said quietly. A frown was engraved on my face. 

"Nothing can compare to the death of a sibling," I replied. Before she could reply, I added, "we should start finding Ezekiel." She nodded slowly, and closed her eyes. In a fraction of a second, her eyes were moving about her closed eyelids, and her breathing got faster. I was afraid she'd start crying, so I grabbed her hand and squeezed it, hoping to coax her back to normal. 

About fifteen seconds later, she opened her eyes again and stood to her feet hastily, almost tripping on the leg of the couch. I stood with her, taking her arms to steady her. She let out a sharp exhale. 

"Wow. I just saw into Ezekiel's head," she said quite slowly, looking at the ground. "Hey, Cassandra, focus. Where is he?" I asked gently. She pointed her head at me. 

"I, um... I think I know where it is. Let's get back to the Library, I can show you." I nodded. She, without even glancing back, ran and dialed like a madman. Honestly? I was pretty impressed by her efficiency with it. Muffled talking was heard, and without even a warning, a bright blue door appeared in front of us. 

 

"666 Hamilton Street!" Cassandra exclaimed to Flynn, Eve, and Jenkins, "that's where Ezekiel is." Hah. 666. We all smirked. Even under extreme stress and worry, we can still joke about. It's what Ezekiel would have done, anyway. 

"That's ironic," Eve remarked.

"More iconic than ironic," Jenkins added. We, unfortunately, skimmed over it and got straight to business. Flynn rushed around the bookcases, looking for a map of San Francisco. Quite specific, but the Library is guaranteed to have it. 

"Aha!" He cried suddenly, hastily grasping at a rolled up paper, nearly dropping it a couple times. He flattened out the paper on the Annex center table where we could all see. He took a tack and stabbed it where Ezekiel was. He paused for a moment. "How'd you even do that?" Flynn asked. Before he could even answer, Eve said, "it doesn't matter. What matters is that he's in danger, and we need to get him. According to what I've heard, sirens aren't usually the mercy-giving type." I nodded. 

Cassandra and I approached the back door with everyone behind us. "Okay," I started, "spotting this thing should be easy. It's the girl he's most drawn to." I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy against this girl. I shook my head to get these thoughts out of my head. 

 

"Alright. Let's go, Librarians."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYOOOO omg i am so sorry just in case i deleted that previous a/n (which i probably did) i had a massive writers block and i just couldn't even write a sentance so i took a "short" break (i can catch myself on my shit too) and after SO LONG i've finally updated ,,,, god i feel so bad. i made it extra long this time though so i hope that kinda maybe makes up for it?? honestly i'd totally get it if it doesn't. also there may be typos because i was in a total rush to finish this honestly .... anyways pls leave a comment expressing your happiness/anger that i finally posted. enjoy :,,)

We arrived at the building across the street from where Ezekiel was being kept. It didn't really need to be said that barging in with a portal inside the house itself wasn't really the best idea. 

From first glance, the house looked like a hellhole. It was white and small and looked really really creepy. Like one of those places in horror movies that the white, suburban family were murdered in and no one ever found the bodies. The white exterior was slightly browned in spots, which did not help with deflecting the whole murder theory. Power cords hung over the house, at least a dozen of them, seemingly stretching out forever across the barren roads. It creeped me out. 

I crouched and made my way behind a white truck parked on the street, and made a motion with my hand for the others to hide too, just in case Ezekiel's siren isn't watching for us (you could argue that she doesn't know about us, but who knows what Zeke told her). As they leant against the truck, I peered to the house, and tried to look into the window to find something. Anything that could show me that maybe our teammate was still alive. But, the windows were barred, so I couldn't see inside. 

I don't want to go in there. That girl, his siren, would just tear me apart (probably). But what if he's dead? What if we're too late? And even if Ezekiel was alive, would he even want to come back to us? I mean, sirens are supposed to represent everything a person wants in someone. Anyone in that situation, forced to choose over family and perfection, would always choose the latter. I doubt I can persuade him to come back to us anyways. I am not perfection to him.

Cassandra must have noticed my fear, because she laid her hand on mine for a few seconds, and gave it a reassuring squeeze, before taking her hand away and interlocking her own fingers together.

"Jake, it's gonna be okay. Ezekiel is okay, I know it," Cassandra said softly, as if saying the wrong thing would shatter me.

"But Cassandra, sirens are known to kill. They lure people in and then they kill them. Why would Ezekiel be an exception?" I said shakily, tears welling up in my eyes. She looked a little bit hurt, and a little bit pissed off.

"Don't think like that. Ezekiel is fine, I know he is. He's the greatest thief in the world, and I will be damned if he lets himself die at the hands of a freaking siren," she fumed, her face flushed. I was too surprised to say anything. She never gets like this. Hell, the strongest language I've heard her say is 'shoot'. 

I wipe off my tears with my sleeve and reassure myself. Cassie is right. Ezekiel is okay. He's always okay! Always. 

"Okay... okay, okay. You're right. You're right, you're right. I'm sorry. You're right. He's okay. He's always been okay," I said. Cassandra gave me a little nod to acknowledge me. 

"Okay, so what now?" Eve piped up from the back. I turned to her. "I say I go in. One person means less chance of getting caught. While his siren is distracted, I'll grab Ezekiel," I stated. 

"Did you come up with that plan right now?" Flynn asked. 

"As a matter of fact, yes." 

"How do you even know she'll even get distracted?" 

"We can make a diversion." 

"And what would that be, Mr. I Make Up Plans On The Spot." 

"I actually don't know. That's where you come in. Just... do whatever. Fuckin' river dance, I don't care. Just do something." Eve cocked her head at me, while Flynn smiled mischievously. I was halfway to opening my mouth to ask what the hell he was thinking, but I decided that was better left unanswered. "Go through the back. If there's not a back door, go through the front. Just go where Ezekiel is and wait for my signal." 

I took in a deep breath. This is... a lot. I could be seeing Ezekiel alive and happy or dead on the floor. I'm about to see his version of perfection. 

Why do I care so much? 

Shut up, Jake. Shut up. You're going here to save your teammate. Your friend. Best friend, even. You can't fuck this up. 

I know I can't. I won't. I swear I won't. 

"Whenever you're ready," Cassandra said sympathetically, giving me a small hug. I appreciated that. It made me feel a little better, at least. I nodded microscopically, peeking over the hood of the truck once more before gathering up enough courage to make my way across the street to the side of the house. 

I thought I could hear mumbling inside. They could have been yelling. I couldn't really tell. 

I peeked through the keyhole, like Ezekiel always does. Inside, from the limited spectrum that I could see, had a rickety wooden staircase directly in front of the door. There was nothing but an eggshell white wall on the right. It looks newly painted. To the left was an opening; I couldn't see more past that, but I knew it was there. 

"Fuck..." I breathed out. I gripped the door handle tightly and looked back over to the truck, waiting for Cass or Eve or Flynn to look back at me and smile and say it's gonna be okay. But no one was there. They must have gone in already, when I wasn't paying attention. 

'Get your shit together, Jake. Just go,' I said to myself, 'you got this.' I didn't really believe myself when I said that, but oh well, it is too late to go back now. 

I willed my hand to open the door as slowly and quietly as humanly manageable, surprisingly only getting a few squeaks out of the hinges. I could only hope it wasn't noticeable. 

I tiptoed my way to the opening on the left. There was no one in there. I didn't really know whether that was good or bad. No one to notice me, but no one to suggest Ezekiel was actually here. 

It was just a bland room. It had a grey carpet and a couch, neither of them looked particularly old or worn. Maybe a little bit torn and frayed around the edges. 

There weren't any doors or anything else that seemed to indicate another room or anywhere he could be. I was... confused, to say the least. I knew they couldn't be upstairs. The soft voices were too audible to me for them to be a floor above me. 

Honestly, I didn't know what to do. I was panicking. I was aware it didn't hurt to check upstairs; but I just knew it wasn't up there. I just had a feeling. I had a feeling about this whole mission too, so I told myself to trust my gut. For this one mission. 

So, I did. I did the only thing my gut told me to do.

"HEY! YOU! YOU'RE FUCKED UP, YOU KNOW THAT?! KIDNAPPING PEOPLE. KILLING. Y'KNOW WHO DOES THAT?" The plan had gone completely out the window. I paused, taking a sharp inhale. "CRAZY PEOPLE! AND NOW, YOU MADE THE MISTAKE OF TAKING ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS." I muttered the next part. 

"You really must be crazy." I panted, my lungs begging for air, but I wasn't finished. 

"I'M RIGHT HERE. I'M RIGHT HERE FOR YOU. COME GET ME." I stood. The silence around me was deafening. I was just... standing there. Waiting for something, anything, to happen. It didn't. I don't even know what I was hoping for. I chuckled sadly. Sadness washed over me like a wave, pulling me under and tossing me around. 

I'll never admit to anyone that I cried at that moment.

"Come on. Please," I choked out, tears pouring out of my eyes, "Please!" I shut my eyes. 

A low voice cut through the thick air. 

"You plead too loud," he mumbled, clearly agitated. I stared at the man, straight into his pale, steely eyes. His dead black hair fell over his face effortlessly. Walking over to me, I continued to stare. "You're not his siren," I deducted. The man kept a straight face. 

"You would be correct." 

"Where is she, then?" He chuckled, like there was something amusing to all of this. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "Why are you laughing?" I growled. A wide smile stretched across his face. "No reason," he said.

"Tell me," I replied, insistent. 

"Why should I tell you? It's not really that important." 

"I'll kick your face in." 

"No need for threats. You'll see. Seriously." He took my wrist forcefully, trying to guide me somewhere. I yanked it back. He turned around and sighed. "Look, you're the one who wanted us to 'come get you'. Are you gonna comply or not?" He questioned, irritated. I held his stare for longer than necessary and breathed out a, "Sure." He threw his hands up in defense as he lead me a mere few feet to a bare wall. It was kinda funny, actually. 

He laid his hand on the wall, and underneath his hand started to glow. My eyes widened as the wall started to unfold, revealing an... elevator? Seemed kind of anticlimactic for a secret liar entrance. The doors were sleek and silver, totally alienated from the rest of the house. 

It opened, revealing the same metal used on the outside of the elevator, but with a bright light as the ceiling. The man stepped onto the elevator as if it was nothing. I reluctantly got on with him, going on the very opposite side of the space as I could. 

The doors closed and he pressed a button. I felt us going down. Tension built in the air between us. 

"What's your name," I asked coldly, my voice devoid of all emotion. He took a deep breath. 

"Keith," he stated plainly, arms folded at his chest. My eyes widened in shock. Keith. 

"Keith? You mean Keith McClain?" I questioned, surprised. Keith looked down to the floor, jet black hair curtaining his face. He peered back up at me, not glaring but just... looking. Like he was analyzing me.

He looked like he was about to say something. He almost did, I think. Keith inhaled deeply through his nose, but just that moment, the elevator came to an abrupt stop and Keith grabbed my arm and dragged me along with him through the corridor in front of us, leading to a door. The hall mirrored the elevator: bright lights, modern. Made very recently. Like, really recently. Maybe a year old, probably less. 

Asking why it was built, and for what purpose, seemed redundant by this point. It was obvious what it was for the moment I saw it. 

I snapped out of my thoughts as soon as Keith pulled me through the door, I looked around the room tentatively. It was drastically different from what I had just been walking through; it had a dark colour scheme, unlike the rest of the 'extended house', which had been bright and lively (in whatever way a secret hideout for sirens could manage to be 'lively', I don't know). The walls were grey, with a tapestry of images of Greek culture and mythology. I saw the gods look down upon Greece, with a variety of different things occurring in the city. People in the marketplace, a man on a pedestal talking to a crowd. There was a little girl, hand in hand with her mother, looking up in awe. She was the only one who saw the gods in the heavens. The others hadn't taken the time to search for them.

As I scanned around the room, my eyes fell on something I wasn't sure I'd see again. My heart jumped, beating faster and faster by the second. I gasped. 

"Ezekiel?" I asked, bewildered. As he looked up, the hair previously shielding his face got brushed out of the way so he could see me. 

What was weird was he looked so... normal. Happy, even. Like nothing ever happened. He looked at me like he always does, his posture just as usual. There wasn't even a hint of fear in his eyes. Or anxiety. Or even curiosity. It was strange. 

"What?" He said, sounding almost irritated I was talking to him. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. 

"Are you okay? What happened?" I asked worriedly, making sure some concern leaked into my voice. 

"I'm fine. I'm great, actually," he exclaimed cheerily, smiling from ear to ear, "and what happened? Fate happened." He paused, waiting for a response probably, but I couldn't stifle the courage to even say anything. I was just so confused and utterly heartbroken. How is he happy? Why is he happy? He was just kidnapped. Did they brainwash him? Questions ran through my mind, all of them making me scared. I lov- I care about Ezekiel, and I want him to be happy no matter the cost, but this? This isn't real. It's fake happiness. He deserves so much better than this. 

Ezekiel scoffed. "I was so unhappy where I was with you and the Librarians. It's not that the team was bad, or even the job necessarily, it's just that I could never be who I wanted to be. Who I really am." He said, his voice getting gradually lower as his speech went on. 

"Ezekiel-" 

"Shut up!" 

"What has gotten into you?" There was a moment of silence. My breathing came out long and deep, as opposed to his short and frantic ones. I took a silent step forward, while he took a big step back. Keith's hold on me still prevailed, even with how hard I was tugging against him. Ezekiel looked livid. 

"I finally find happiness for once in my goddamned life and you ask what's gotten into me? Aren't you happy for me?" He asked, starting to shout. 

"I'd give anything for you to be happy, Zeke. Anything. But this?" I paused, gesturing around the room, "isn't it." 

"What are you even talking about?" He said, acting like I was the most absurd man on the planet.

"I'm talking about the person you've been taken by." 

"Taken?!" 

"Yes, Zeke, taken!" There was a silence. Tension thick enough you couldn't cut it with a knife. I looked down to the ground, letting my legs go partially limp so Keith could just hold me up. I was afraid I would collapse. Behind me, Keith didn't even seem fazed at the sudden extra weight. "So," I said weakly, "where is she?" 

"Where is who?"

"Your siren," I paused, swallowing, "I'm assuming she's around here somewhere." Ezekiel looked puzzled. He stared at me for a few seconds before a wide, toothy smile spread across his face. A bit of his tongue stuck out the left side of his mouth between two teeth. It would have been adorable in different circumstances. 

"You've gotta be another one of the Librarians, am I right?" A rough voice said behind me. Ezekiel's head shot to where the voice came from, and though his smile faded, immediately after that his features softened. I stayed quiet until the man had stepped directly in front of me, Ezekiel clinging to his side. "Cooperate. I don't want any blood spilled yet." His words had a southern drawl to them. I clenched my fists and diverted my energy to holding myself upright. 

"Who the hell are you?" I asked, glaring daggers at him. He only smirked. 

"The names Nestor, but you can call me Nick." 

"Why Nick?"

"Why Jake?" A breath caught in my throat. I had never mentioned my name. 

"How do you know my name?" Nick paused, thinking for a moment, before responding with, "I have sources." Vague. A cop out, frankly, but I didn't extend on that topic from there. Something tells me he wouldn't very much appreciate that. 

There was a moment of silence as I gathered my thoughts and decided what to say. 

"Okay. I'm just going to get right down to business. Where is she?" I asked aggressively. 

"Where is who?" Nick and Ezekiel replied simultaneously. 

"oh, don't play dumb," I said. 

It took him a bit longer than usual to reply. "I'm not." A second passed, and a smirk found its way onto his face. Then a full on belly laugh crept up Nick's throat. He doubled over, the corners of his eyes crinkled and glistening. 

"You- you really think- oh, god, that is comical!" He paused, waiting for his current fit of giggles to subside, "Seriously, thank you man, that really made my day. That's just so... pathetic." His laughs struck a cord in me. Fear? Anger? I don't know. I straightened my spine and puffed out my chest instinctively. 

"What the hell are you laughing about?" I asked, irritated. Nick looked at me like I was stupid.

"You seriously haven't picked it up by now?" He questioned seriously. 

"Picked up what?" I said through gritted teeth. 

"I'm his siren," he said, pointing to himself. I looked at him in disbelief. No. He's lying.

"Bullshit," I spat out venomously. He shook his head and scoffed. 

"And why do you think that?" He asked slowly. 

"Because he would have told us if he was-" 

"Gay?" Nick finished. I laughed to myself, clenching my fists behind my back to relieve some stress. 

"LGBT. There's more than one way to like the same gender, asshat." Nick didn't say anything for a while. A thick tension fell in the room, only making the buzzing in my ears more apparent. I suddenly felt a tug in my chest. Just a weird feeling. 

Now that I realize it, it's becoming more apparent... I'm kind of drawn to this place. It sounds crazy, and like the strangest thing for me to say in this situation, but there's some sort of energy here that's pulled me in. It's moving and breathing, it's alive. Pulsing and writhing around, waiting, wishing for someone to find it. 

My thoughts were interrupted by a tapping. Just a light, delicate tapping on the back of my wrists where Keith was holding me. At first I thought nothing of it. It was actually kind of annoying, but I started to realize a pattern. I couldn't figure it out at first, but after a while it clicked- Morse Code. 

It was clever, actually. I would have never thought of using the Code to communicate. It's perfect, really. 'That bastard,' I thought to myself as I deciphered his message. 

A-T-T-A-C-K. Attack? Isn't he on Nick's side?; why would he want me to attack? I tapped back, W-H-Y. 

He responded I W-A-N-T O-U-T. He wants out. Out of what? Is he being kept here? I hesitated for a moment, carefully choosing the right words to respond with. I tapped out, W-H-Y and A-R-E Y-O-U O-K. He replied, D-O-E-S-N-T M-A-T-T-E-R and A-T-T-A-C-K N-I-C-K. He paused before adding, G-E-T Y-O-U-R B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D. I mentally stuttered. If I were walking, I'd be tripping over my own legs. Boyfriend? 

I shook my head microscopically. It doesn't matter, Jake. What matters is getting Zeke and getting out of here. 

O-K, I tapped out. As I did that, he hesitantly released the grip around my wrists. Nick was still silent, though pacing now, which added to my ever growing nerves. 

Honestly? I didn't really know what I was doing. I didn't know a battle strategy, or formation, or any tactics whatsoever. Sure, maybe I'd seen some in movies, but real life was something different. And yeah, people could argue that I'd fought people before and while that is true, this was... different. I felt more responsible for the lives in the balance. 

For Ezekiel's life. I know I value it a lot more than mine. 

I waited until Nick was facing away from me. I knew he wouldn't be there for long, so I'd have to be quick. I leapt up and dashed toward him. Ezekiel yelled for him to turn around, but before he could, I'd already spun him around. His face then was something that would be burned into my mind. Without thinking, I swung my fist with as much force I could muster. There was a horrible crack when it connected to his jaw, but to me that sounded like music. I wanted to hurt him more. He took Ezekiel. He deserves this. 

He crumpled over in pain, and before he could defend himself, I launched my elbow at his neck, sending him onto the floor. I stood over him, trying to regain my breath and stop my heart from beating so fast. He lifted his head slightly, smiling with blood dripping out of his nose. 

Suddenly, I hear a yell. Ezekiel's yell. 

By this point, I'm getting uncharacteristically worried about him. Everyone thinks I hate him. But I don't. I've never hated him. 

And it's at that very moment I come to the realization: I love him. I've always loved him. 

I spun my head to where the yell came from. And before I could even retaliate, Ezekiel swung his fist wildly at me, smashing against my cheekbone and sending a jolt of red hot pain across my face. Honestly, I don't know what hurt me more: the punch, or the person who was throwing it. I winced and looked back up at him, into his chocolate brown eyes. I did not know the person looking back at me. That struck a cord in me. Actually, it was more like the violent removal of that cord from my body entirely, because it hurt. To be completely truthful, in that moment I couldn't care less about anything except him standing in front of me. Everything else was white noise. He was the only thing that mattered. 

I can't believe this sort of revelation is happening right fucking now. It's not exactly the appropriate time for sentiment.

Keith, thank god, was fighting Nick behind me so I don't get killed. To be honest, I couldn't really tell if he was still fighting Nick or not, because my attention was so focused on the man in front of me.

"Ezekiel..." I started, my eyes watering a bit. But before I could get another word out of my mouth, Keith dashed up to Zeke and swung his fist, knocking him out cold. Keith caught him before he hit the ground. 

"There's no time for chatting! Let's go!" Keith said urgently, handing me Ezekiel's limp body to carry. As I held him bridal style, I heard a groan from behind me, presumably Nick. I spun around and saw him, still on the ground, but with more blood than I remembered him having from when I hit him. 

I kicked him in the head for good measure, causing him to gasp and wince in pain, dropping his head back onto the floor. 

I sped to the elevator, only looking behind me when I realized Keith wasn't with me. 

"You go. I'll take care of him," he said, gesturing to Nick writhing in pain on the ground. I nodded, running into the elevator and pressing the button I assume goes to the original house. 

I look down at Ezekiel, serene and at peace, and I sense a strange feeling in my stomach. God, it's like being back in middle school. I don't even know whether I like it or not. 

I don't even know anything about this entire situation.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke is finally back to where he really belongs, but he’s not really himself. They all know the Siren still has a hold on him, whether he likes it or not. He needs to break free. [!!TRIGGER WARNING!! suicidal tendencies and thoughts are portrayed in this chapter. If you’re sensitive to that don’t read this. Stay safe.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s been months. and i know a reoccurring theme in these chapter notes is apologizing for how long it took to get these out so i’m sure you all get the drill.   
> warning, i have not been all that invested in the Librarians lately, so if i overwrite some of the canon then i apologize. i didn’t wanna leave this story where i left it because that’d be cruel.   
> feedback is ALWAYS appreciated! i’m honestly overjoyed to hear everyone’s opinions in the comments. feel free to give me constructive criticism! i need it.   
> hope you enjoy. much love from me to you <3

I can’t think straight. I’m so scared. 

We’re finally back at the Library and we’ve laid the unconscious body of Ezekiel (or what’s left of him) onto a spare hammock Flynn had in the back. We tied it up to two metal poles and put it in the front lobby area, near the back door. And he’s just laying there. Not moving. A shell of the man I once lo-cared for deeply. Everyone has set up chairs around the table in the middle of the room. I have situated myself on the stairs, away from everyone else. I feel like if someone touches me I might vomit. I’m wondering why they’re all sitting there pretending everything will be fine. That all we have to do is just think of a rational solution and maybe Zeke will come back. 

But I know that’s not going to happen. I don’t think he’s ever coming back. 

The things I saw at the house where he was kept were... troubling. A harrowing experience, to say the least. For a number of reasons. 

I’m questioning why the Aussie I thought I knew so well was so happy with that siren. Nick. I thought he was happy here, with us, in the Library. Was it something I’ve done? Maybe something I wasn’t doing. What did Nick do that I don’t? What does he have? 

I’m also thinking back to when he punched me. I do really believe it took a part of my soul. I’ve always had a back and fourth with him but I knew we never really meant it. At least I never did. The playground insults were always fun little pokes at each other, hoping to piss each other off. But that... I would take a hundred more punches from other people before I would take one from him. 

Why am I even thinking about this? His unconscious body is laying across the room from me and all I can think of is what I could have done better. How selfish am I? 

There’s a pit in my stomach that won’t leave. Ever since I saw him it’s been growing larger by the minute. Now that I think about it, I think I still have that revolver in my bedside drawer. I’ve always wanted to play Russian Roulette. Maybe now is the perfect time. What else do I have to lose? 

Cassandra puts her hand on my shoulder. I jump and look up at her as she puts her hand back at her side.

“Hey. You okay?” She says gently, in her smooth voice. I give her a sad smile. “I... I don’t really know. I feel like I don’t know anything anymore,” I admit, “everything is so confusing. I don’t know.” I hear her inhale sharply and sit down next to me. I can feel her insanely positive aura radiating around her. It’s refreshing. Kind of makes me want to cry. 

I can feel her scooting up closer to me. Making me feel like I’m not alone. She takes a deep breath.

“Yeah, me too.” Long pause. “You still haven’t told us what happened,” she says quietly, looking down at her shoes. I press my lips into a thin line and stop breathing for a moment. 

“I know,” I say, almost letting a tear slip out of my eye. I don’t know what else to say. She looks at me. “I know maybe you don’t feel comfortable telling us but we’ll have to know eventually. Preferably before he wakes up. I don’t wanna rush you. I know it’s probably tough for you, but we need to know. I don’t want to pressure you.” Her voice is laced with kindness and sympathy. I sniffle. 

“I know. I’m, um... I think I’m ready to tell you,” I said hesitantly. 

“Oh, great! Well, I’ll be waiting over with the others. Take your time.” She waltzed over to the rest of the group, who all took their turns glancing over at me, and then looking back like I didn’t notice. I finally got up and wandered over to the table, where I took an empty seat. They all looked at me. 

“Start from the beginning. What happened?” Colonal Baird said. I took a deep breath and recounted everything that happened. The shouting. The elevator. Keith. 

The atmosphere changed when I got to Nick, though. 

“Wait,” Flynn said when I mentioned Nick, “He was his... siren?” I looked at him and nodded. His eyes grew wider, and he took a deep breath. “Wow, I’m just... wow,” he said, sounding hurt. Jenkins perked up. 

“Why did he never tell us he was into guys?” Colonal Baird asked quietly. I shrugged, knowing the answer but not saying it. 

“Maybe it was the environment he was raised in,” Jenkins said, “He has kept his past a secret from a lot of us. Who knows what he has endured? Who knows where he grew up? There is a lot of hatred in the world for people who are attracted to the same gender as themselves. He may have grown up in a place where the norm was not to be who he is. I suspect he kept that part of himself in the dark corners of his brain where no one could touch it. I suspect he was afraid.” No one had noticed Cassandra quietly wiping her eyes of tears that had fallen from imagining what sort of environment he had lived in. She was angry at herself for not getting into his personal life. Maybe helping him. She knew he wouldn’t have been happy but maybe, just maybe, she could have helped. At least a little. And not left him the broken, fractured man that he is. No one like him should be left to deal with that alone. 

I feel that too. I don’t think anyone noticed the tears falling from my eyes either. 

I decided to continue my story from where I left off. There was a blanket of silence over the room after I had finished. 

“What will he be like when he wakes up?” Cassie asked somberly. I stared at the table, emotionless and full of emotion at the same time. “I don’t know. I think he’ll still be under the sirens spell,” I said. 

“How do we get him out of it,” Flynn asked. 

“In Greek mythology, sirens were like a creepier version of mermaids. They only lived by a small island in Greece where they had previously been banished to. I think they’ve adapted to this world and now resemble humans and are not in Greece anymore. It’s possible Sirens sing to express their grief and unresolved sorrows, and wrongs against them. They’re desperately lonely so they tempt men with their songs, which can sometimes be too painful for the men to hear. I’m not sure how that ties back to Zeke though. A lot has happened since then, so it could have changed.” I took a deep breath. “But my point is, the sirens had a lot of unresolved emotions. They were humiliated and sad. So is Ezekiel. Maybe they target people who are weak. And they...” Jake is exhausted. He doesn’t want to talk anymore. So he stops and holds back his tears with all the willpower he has left. The team understands and doesn’t make him talk anymore. 

“I’m not really sure. Can we really rely on them deviating from their original paths so much? Not to discredit you, but this is all really circumstantial,” Baird says gingerly. Like she was walking on eggshells. 

I felt my blood boil. Why is this happening? Why him? Why not me? What did he do to deserve this?

Anger washed over me like a tidal wave, and while I was drowning, desperate for air, I lost control. I couldn’t think straight. 

I slammed my clenched fists on the table and stood up, my chair toppling over behind me. Everyone’s eyes shot to me. 

“What other fucking choice do we have?!” Red surrounded my vision. “Hm? Because it doesn’t seem like we have that many fucking options here!” Cassandra sniffled. She looked terrified. I didn’t care. “He’s laying over there, soulless and alone, so if I can finally do this one thing for him maybe I can forgive myself for the countless number of things I didn’t do before!” I was shaking. “Maybe if he wakes up as himself, I can stop thinking he will always believe that I hated him! Maybe if he wakes up I can stop believing that he hated me.” Everyone was silent. I finally gave up, picked up my chair, and sat down, unaware of the tears that were spilling out of my eyes. Baird and Flynn glanced at each other. 

“Jake-“ She started. 

“Don’t. You’ll just make things worse,” I said quietly. She nodded and frowned. “I’ll stay here and watch him. In case he wakes up,” I muttered. Everyone heard me. One by one they filed out the back door, except Jenkins, who went to... wherever he goes in his free time. I don’t know and at this point I don’t care. I slumped forward, rested my elbows on the table, and laid my head in my hands. When I finally looked up, everyone was gone. It was just me. 

And then I cried. Tears were spilling out of my eyes like a waterfall. I sobbed loudly knowing no one was around to hear me. I stumbled my way to the end of the stairs, where I sat, with my back against the wall. I brought my knees up to my face and I cried. I cried more than I’ve ever cried in my life. At some point I stopped sobbing and I just let the tears stream down my face, emotionless, yet still feeling that stab in the pit of my stomach when I looked over at Ezekiel’s body. Or when I thought of him. Or when I pictured him laughing, and smiling, and making those horrible jokes. Or when I imagined him winking at me playfully. Or when I realized nothing was going to happen between us. Why was I such a fool? Why did I think anything were to come of this? 

...Why did it have to be him? 

I slowly got up and struggled my way up the stairs and to my room. I don’t usually sleep here, but some of my valuables are here. But my mind was only on one thing. 

As I stumbled into my room, I caught sight of my bedside cabinet. I opened the drawer. There it is. It looks just the same as the last time I saw it. 

I frantically searched for ammunition. In my drawers, cabinets, under my bed. Nothing was there. Some might be here, in the Library. Somewhere. I rubbed the bags under my eyes. I’m so tired. 

Revolver in hand, I scrambled out of my room, my mind hazy. I was only thinking of one thing. 

I didn’t expect to see her. 

“Oh, Jake! I thought you were downstairs watching Ezekiel?” she said in her usual peppy tone. Why is Cassandra here? I put my revolver behind my back so she wouldn’t see. Tension hung thick in the air. 

“Oh, um, I just needed some air... I didn’t expect to see you here,” I said, voice slightly hoarse. She gave me a sad smile. 

“I figured I’d give you some company. Must be lonely here, all by yourself. Plus, you need some sleep. I bet today has been pretty exhausting,” she said. I sniffled. “Um, yeah, it really has.” I don’t know what to say. She looked at my face like she was analyzing me, picking apart my brain. Thinking. 

“I know what you’re doing, Stone.” Her voice was cold, her usually bright blue eyes dulling a bit. “You know I won’t let you do that.” My heart skipped a beat. 

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Don’t play dumb!” She snapped. She took a deep breath. “I know everything seems hopeless right now. I know you’re mad because he was your friend and now you think you’ll never get him back. But you’re my friend, Jake! I need you. We need you.” She paused, as tears rolled down her cheeks. I pressed my lips into a thin line and bit my lip to prevent the tears welling up in my eyes from spilling out too. “I care about you. You don’t need to do this. We can figure this out. You don’t need to keep everything to yourself. We all love you. Me, Baird, Jenkins, Ezekiel. We all love you.” 

I... didn’t know what to say. I let my hand go weak, dropping the gun with a loud clang. I hugged her, and she hugged me, and in that moment, I realized why I needed to live. 

 

 

It’s been a few hours, and now we’re sitting on the steps together, watching Ezekiel and talking. Waiting for him to wake up. Seeing what will become of him. We had decided to move him to a chair and put restraints on his wrists. Cassandra had said since he attacked me at the house, we can’t be too careful. I begrudgingly complied, feeling like more of a villain I’ve ever felt in my life. 

It wasn’t until 4:27 AM that he finally showed signs of life. Fingers moving. Head twitching. Until he finally opened his eyes. 

“Where the hell am I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> literally wrote this in a day so sorry if it’s shit. i hope that was an ok chapter! sorry for being dark <3


End file.
